Have any of you moms sent your child off to college? Or maybe you've stood in the driveway as they loaded their belongings, slammed the trunk, and headed off to chase a different dream. I've experienced both. These were wonderful moments in my life. I wasn't one to try to hold on to the past. I was always anxious to embrace the next phase. It excited me.
But one thing was certain, in each of these transitions, I had been involved in the plan. Research had been done. I knew exactly where they were headed and was well aware of the date they'd leave. While I experienced true joy in watching them move forward, I had no real peace in my heart till I saw their new home, experienced it first hand. Can you identify?
The day Tara left for college I was on an airplane. She and her dad packed all her things and hit the road without me. My father had died two weeks earlier so I'd been in Tennessee helping my mom figure out this new life without him. She needed me.
But no way was my baby girl going to spend one night in a place her mom hadn't thoroughly checked out, inspected, and signed off on. I hopped a plane and headed back to Florida, with my mother's approval, of course...she certainly understood. After picking me up from the airport, Billy, Tara, her little sister, and I headed to Palm Beach Atlantic University.
After thoroughly interrogating the R.A. (Residential Advisor) about curfews, etc., I felt a little bit better about the situation. But there was much left to do before I would release my grip entirely. I began my mother's work...wiring -check, carpet condition - check, bathroom fixtures and privacy - check, counter space at the sink and mirror - check, condition of mattress - check, security code at the elevator - check. On and on it went until I felt satisfied that in this place, my precious daughter would be safe and happy.
Back at home, any time I'd start missing her, I could simply picture her environment and because of that visual image, was able to feel excitement rather than grief. I'd seen her there. I'd seen the smile on her face as she perused her new home.
I remember the day we all waved good-bye to Aaron as he drove away with his recruiter and headed off to boot camp. We stood in the parking lot and cried. While they were tears of hope rather than despair, I found no real peace in my heart till the day of bootcamp graduation when I had my first opportunity to see the environment he'd been living in. Yes, I had to check out his room. I had to see where he'd been sleeping, where he'd been eating. Every detail was so important. I can remember being fascinated by the NEX (Navy Exchange) and being so happy to see where he bought his snacks. Crazy, right?
On and on it went through move after glorious move. Aaron lived the most exciting life known to man. And with each new conquest, each deployment, each transition of home away from home, I would literally beg him to send me pictures if I couldn't get there physically to see it for myself. I needed to see where he was. An accomplished, fearless Navy SEAL to the world, but to me...my first born son. My heart demanded I be able to scrutinize his environment in order to feel connected to him...to know he was in a good place.
Descriptions didn't satisfy.
And now...I'm called to a level of faith never before required of me. What I can't see, I must trust. "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I
am going there to prepare a place for you."
Perhaps it's because I'm a mom...the keeper of the home, the ultimate decision-maker on the physical environment, the nest architect. What does it look like? Where does he lay his head? Is his room decorated with all his favorite things? Are there pictures of his wife, his children, us?
Yes, there are many descriptions of heaven in God's word, but descriptions still don't satisfy.
This, I guess, is the true measure of faith. To be content in whatever state you're in. I don't think Paul was only describing contentment in the context of wealth or famine. Perhaps the most difficult place to find contentment is in unanswered questions.
Whatever your "faith need" is today, I promise He is able to not only meet your need, but keep you content as you wait. I urge you to read Philippians 4:11 again, or maybe for the first time. Heck, do yourself a favor and read the whole chapter.
In everything, give praise.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Monday, October 15, 2012
Enough...
Today, like every day, I miss my son. I miss his laughter. I miss his smile. I miss his sense of humor and impeccable timing. I miss our conversations. I miss his passion and intensity. I miss the way he could go from zero to one hundred when someone spoke an improper word about something important to him. I miss his crazy driving and most of all I miss his heart, which was so overflowing with love and compassion.
I also miss what will never be. I miss the fact that one day his daughter will walk down the aisle and he won't be there. I miss on Reagan's behalf, that his daddy will never watch him score a touchdown, learn to drive a car, or fall in love. I miss that Kimberly will never again be able to share the amazing joys that only parents understand.... "Reagan learned to tie his shoe today," or "Chamberlyn rode the bike without training wheels." I especially miss all the Christmas mornings for the rest of their childhoods when they run down the stairs, but daddy is not there.
I miss what would have been....family vacations, memories, laughter, pictures, love.
I miss that my daughters will have to bury Billy and I one day and their big, strong, larger-than-life brother won't be there to walk beside them and help them through.
Today I attended the funeral of another fallen special forces operator. As I listened to his family and teammates describe this amazing man, I couldn't help but think: "Why is it always the men like him who fall?" The great ones who walk among us who were "too good for this world" according to Hebrews 11:38. And then I realized; only the greatest among us would storm the gates of hell for the undeserving; the pot-smoking punk still living in his parent's basement, the disrespectful teen who can't be bothered to pull his pants up or answer with a "yes sir" or "no ma'm, the "occupier" who cries on the street for justice but rapes the woman protesting beside him, the list goes on....
Forever.
And then this evening I received the email below and my heart sank lower than I thought was possible:
Dear Karen,
My name is Cheryl Sitton and my son, SSG Matthew Sitton, was KIA on 02 August 2012. On 04 June 2012 he wrote an email to Congressman Bill Young seeking support and help in reference to the senseless and deadly missions he was required to put his men through. He told of how they were required to perform foot patrols in empty compounds and grape rows littered with IED's just to meet a set mandate of a certain number of patrols for a certain amount of time. He shared how they had to patrol in urine and feces soaked uniforms just to meet this mandate. And all with no end state in mind.
Congressman Young took Matt's letter to the Pentagon for it only to fall on deaf ears. Two months later my son and his 1st Sgt Russell Bell were killed in the exact way Matt had warned and feared for his men.
Cheryl Sitton
There's more, but as I read this first portion, I felt like I could literally vomit. I want to scream. I want to hit the pause button and fight for these men until someone listens! Please, for the love of God.... listen! And ACT!
Billy voiced our hearts on Hannity's America this past Wednesday perfectly when he said, "We want some high ranking military officer to have the courage to risk all and scream out, "What is happening to our warriors?" Somebody, please have the courage to protect our warriors instead of protecting this commander in chief and his cronies."
And then...just before I "thought" I was going to bed tonight, I decided to check our blog and found the following comment: "sorry you lost your son. But making his death a matter of Democrats v Republicans cheapens his loss." And that was it. My reply? "Nothing will EVER cheapen the loss our family has endured. What grieves me most as Aaron's mother (you know...the one who gave birth to him, rocked him to sleep hundreds, if not thousands of times, sat up with him when he had a nightmare or was running a fever, coached his pee-wee basketball team, sat at the dinner table year after year making sure his homework was done, loaned him the car for his first date, never missed a football game for 7 years (home or away), prayed with him when he received Christ, cried with him when his heart broke, shared every victory and every defeat with him, danced with him at his wedding to "Thanks Again," hugged him goodbye for the final time in June of last year, and yes, buried him) is that he freely gave his life so someone like YOU would be ensured the freedom to visit HIS personal site for no purpose except to spew a disgustingly insensitive comment toward his parents. I pity you. You are a sad, sad human being. But....he died for you, so go ahead, tell me more about what I'm doing to cheapen his "loss." (whatever that means)"
Here's my point. It's NEVER been about parties to this family. It's about HUMAN BEINGS who are being sacrificed on the alter of narcissism and idiotic ideology where we call evil good and good evil!
I say...ENOUGH!
These great men (and great women) are fighting for and dying for ...US. It has become glaringly clear to me that our high ranking military officials have no plans to defend those great patriots whose faces are actually marred by war. They're far too busy securing their mortgages and pompous life styles to risk anything in order to fulfill the oath they took when they strapped up their boots for the very first time.
And this administration? Pure, unadulterated evil. Cover-ups, scandals, finger-pointing, football-spiking, lying, apologizing, throwing each other under the bus, and most importantly, risking our nation as we know it by REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE OUR ENEMY.
As my husband first said, and now I've repeated many times as I speak across the states....On September 11, 2001, our government was helpless to stop any one of the four attacks on our soil. BUT, on flight 93, a group of American citizens counted the cost, answered the call, stood up, gave ALL, and changed the history of this nation.
Billy & I have rolled a snowball. It needs to become an avalanche and we need your help.
We'd like to collect as many stories as possible from the men and women returning from or still on the front lines who aren't able to speak for themselves. Please post the stories here, using anonymity where necessary. Please don't use names unless the soldier is deceased, having nothing more to lose. America needs to know what's happening to our defenders. They deserve a voice.
Comments:
I also miss what will never be. I miss the fact that one day his daughter will walk down the aisle and he won't be there. I miss on Reagan's behalf, that his daddy will never watch him score a touchdown, learn to drive a car, or fall in love. I miss that Kimberly will never again be able to share the amazing joys that only parents understand.... "Reagan learned to tie his shoe today," or "Chamberlyn rode the bike without training wheels." I especially miss all the Christmas mornings for the rest of their childhoods when they run down the stairs, but daddy is not there.
I miss what would have been....family vacations, memories, laughter, pictures, love.
I miss that my daughters will have to bury Billy and I one day and their big, strong, larger-than-life brother won't be there to walk beside them and help them through.
Today I attended the funeral of another fallen special forces operator. As I listened to his family and teammates describe this amazing man, I couldn't help but think: "Why is it always the men like him who fall?" The great ones who walk among us who were "too good for this world" according to Hebrews 11:38. And then I realized; only the greatest among us would storm the gates of hell for the undeserving; the pot-smoking punk still living in his parent's basement, the disrespectful teen who can't be bothered to pull his pants up or answer with a "yes sir" or "no ma'm, the "occupier" who cries on the street for justice but rapes the woman protesting beside him, the list goes on....
Forever.
And then this evening I received the email below and my heart sank lower than I thought was possible:
Dear Karen,
My name is Cheryl Sitton and my son, SSG Matthew Sitton, was KIA on 02 August 2012. On 04 June 2012 he wrote an email to Congressman Bill Young seeking support and help in reference to the senseless and deadly missions he was required to put his men through. He told of how they were required to perform foot patrols in empty compounds and grape rows littered with IED's just to meet a set mandate of a certain number of patrols for a certain amount of time. He shared how they had to patrol in urine and feces soaked uniforms just to meet this mandate. And all with no end state in mind.
Congressman Young took Matt's letter to the Pentagon for it only to fall on deaf ears. Two months later my son and his 1st Sgt Russell Bell were killed in the exact way Matt had warned and feared for his men.
Cheryl Sitton
There's more, but as I read this first portion, I felt like I could literally vomit. I want to scream. I want to hit the pause button and fight for these men until someone listens! Please, for the love of God.... listen! And ACT!
Billy voiced our hearts on Hannity's America this past Wednesday perfectly when he said, "We want some high ranking military officer to have the courage to risk all and scream out, "What is happening to our warriors?" Somebody, please have the courage to protect our warriors instead of protecting this commander in chief and his cronies."
And then...just before I "thought" I was going to bed tonight, I decided to check our blog and found the following comment: "sorry you lost your son. But making his death a matter of Democrats v Republicans cheapens his loss." And that was it. My reply? "Nothing will EVER cheapen the loss our family has endured. What grieves me most as Aaron's mother (you know...the one who gave birth to him, rocked him to sleep hundreds, if not thousands of times, sat up with him when he had a nightmare or was running a fever, coached his pee-wee basketball team, sat at the dinner table year after year making sure his homework was done, loaned him the car for his first date, never missed a football game for 7 years (home or away), prayed with him when he received Christ, cried with him when his heart broke, shared every victory and every defeat with him, danced with him at his wedding to "Thanks Again," hugged him goodbye for the final time in June of last year, and yes, buried him) is that he freely gave his life so someone like YOU would be ensured the freedom to visit HIS personal site for no purpose except to spew a disgustingly insensitive comment toward his parents. I pity you. You are a sad, sad human being. But....he died for you, so go ahead, tell me more about what I'm doing to cheapen his "loss." (whatever that means)"
Here's my point. It's NEVER been about parties to this family. It's about HUMAN BEINGS who are being sacrificed on the alter of narcissism and idiotic ideology where we call evil good and good evil!
I say...ENOUGH!
These great men (and great women) are fighting for and dying for ...US. It has become glaringly clear to me that our high ranking military officials have no plans to defend those great patriots whose faces are actually marred by war. They're far too busy securing their mortgages and pompous life styles to risk anything in order to fulfill the oath they took when they strapped up their boots for the very first time.
And this administration? Pure, unadulterated evil. Cover-ups, scandals, finger-pointing, football-spiking, lying, apologizing, throwing each other under the bus, and most importantly, risking our nation as we know it by REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE OUR ENEMY.
As my husband first said, and now I've repeated many times as I speak across the states....On September 11, 2001, our government was helpless to stop any one of the four attacks on our soil. BUT, on flight 93, a group of American citizens counted the cost, answered the call, stood up, gave ALL, and changed the history of this nation.
Billy & I have rolled a snowball. It needs to become an avalanche and we need your help.
We'd like to collect as many stories as possible from the men and women returning from or still on the front lines who aren't able to speak for themselves. Please post the stories here, using anonymity where necessary. Please don't use names unless the soldier is deceased, having nothing more to lose. America needs to know what's happening to our defenders. They deserve a voice.
Comments:
LuAnn
10/16/2012 07:25
Amen
Donald Dix
10/16/2012 12:40
To the Parents of Aaron Vaughn, God Bless your son, his family and you, his parents, who are forced to bury your son every day. I will never know your grief. I will never know the personal sacrifice he, and those like him, pay every day I will never know the emptiness his loss has created in his family. But know that he and your family have a special place in our hearts...we pray for Aaron, your family and all who walk your path every night before we take our first bite of dinner.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you have given his life this special meaning and purpose. God give you the strength to continue this work. Our love and prayers are with you, Donald Dix, a grateful Citizen
David James
10/16/2012 13:31
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Vaughn,
Please let me thank your son, Aaron, for defending my freedom. Reading about your son here on this website as well as listening to the news literally brought tears to my eyes but it also gave me hope. It gave me hope that this country has not completely lost its way and I believe this because of warriors such as Aaron and becaues of citizens of this great country such as the two of you. God Bless Aaron. God Bless you, Mr. and Mrs. Vaughn and God Bless America. Sincerely, David James, another grateful Citizen
Thomas Roberts
10/17/2012 10:10
Though I'm a Canadian citizen, let me express my gratitude towards your son and the 1000's of other US military personnel that bravely step into the darkness to keep those in the light safe. And to my fellow Canadians, who have also heeded the call to bravely serve in our armed forces, I wish to thank you for your service as well. It's these brave men and women who keep us free and safe from the evils of the world.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your great son. My prayer would be that he would be the last person to be sacrificed for our safety and freedom. God Bless.
Nancy
10/17/2012 20:49
Oh Karen:
My heart breaks, again, always, for you. Your entire family is never far from my mind and always in my prayers. Hugs, Nancy
Carol Kennedy
10/18/2012 09:19
My mouth is not filled with the words of comfort I would like to say to you both. You cannot see my face flooded with tears after reading about your son. I want you to know God is watching over you and as He was broken-hearted when His son died on the cross for us, he is broken-hearted over the loss of you son. I cannot explain why the sons who are so loved, so giving, so willing to protect our country and lives are the ones often taken and others with little to offer are allowed to survive. I only can pray that God will strengthen your determination to carry on your son's legacy in a very profound way. I also pray every day that our nation will be restored and those who have not lived up to the promises made to our countrymen/women will be removed from power. Be blessed in God's hands in all you do. Carol
JoAnne Rogers
10/18/2012 12:03
I just read your story on Gateway Pundit - I am so very sorry for your loss. As I reread the words I just wrote, I know how inadequate words are to express the depth of the emotion I'm feeling right now. May God keep you close to him and may you find solace in the many good people in this land who grieve with you at the loss of your son and of all the brave men and women who have died in the service of their country.
Thank you for your bold stance-
My prayers for all of your family- C-CS
Larry Heitman
10/18/2012 12:31
Dear Karen and Billy,
Words cannot express my gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice of your heroic son, Aaron. Our Lord inspired the Apostle John to write in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Your son was such a man laying down his life not only for his friends but for his country. We are grateful for your memorial of Aaron and bringing to our attention warriors like Matthew. It is shameful that our news media does not do them justice. But they are ignorant of the character and courage of men like Aaron and Matthew who would leave the comfort of their family and face the dangers of war every day. Instead, they hide behind their computers. They are not worthy to clean their boots. The sacrifices of Aaron, Matthew and many others will not go unremembered by American patriots. Men and women all over this country have sacrificed for our countries freedom over the many years of our great Republic. My son served tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. My best friend, Lt. Craig Anderson (USAF pilot), gave his life to save our troops pinned down by horrific enemy fire in Vietnam. He and I were both Distinguished Military Graduates from Texas A&M University. The verse from John mentioned above is inscribed over the door as you enter into the Memorial Student Center along with the names of many sons who sacrificed their lives for our country. I grieved over Cheryl’s report of her son being sent into harm’s way to fill a quota! This is a crime! And it must be stopped! This reminds me of the politicization of the Vietnam War and it makes me sick. This is just one more reason why it is so important to kick the politicians out of Washington on November 6th and replace them with Statesmen. Then and only then will our values be reflected. And hopefully, a President Romney will appoint a Joint Chiefs of Staff who will have the courage and character to ensure that our warriors are protected. I am very glad that you are speaking out. Keep it up! Finally, our prayers are lifted to our Lord to comfort you and parents who have lost their children in this great fight against evil. Our prayers are also for our leaders that they will use selfless wisdom to executive our wars to protect our country and liberate others. And one last thought from John 14:1-3, "1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” I have experienced this many times in my family and so can tell you this. I am sure that at that time when Aaron was passing into eternity, Jesus came to him, held him in his arms and led him into heaven to receive his reward. With gratitude and love, Larry Heitman Houston, Texas
I watched both of you on Hannity and was VERY impressed with how exact and precise your words were. Every word was efficiently portrayed in the short amount of time you were given.
As a mother of a son, I don't take our freedoms for granted. And I pass on to my son the events that take place, the men and women who make it possible for us to enjoy working in the yard, earning money to play football, competing in a championship game. As a "patient" I gather strength from the lives lost in order for me to pioneer medicines for my disease for those who will come after me. When I find myself complaining, the lives of people like your son come to me and I check myself. Please know that many of us DO follow what happens and DO honor the lives that are given. AND we do ache and shed tears for those left behind. There are individuals that want and will share your load, if there is any way. If it means volunteering in a school, showing kindness to others, or simply changing and being better, and SHARING the information that we get from people like you so that we KNOW what in the world is going on- Then we DO. We are here to serve you now. Let us know how.
Travi B
10/29/2012 22:18
To Billy & Karen Vaughn,
My heart breaks to know what your family is going through. I heard you on Hannity weeks ago, and have become interested in learning more about who Aaron is/was. He was a true hero! Even though I never knew him, I cannot express my sincerest heartfelt gratitude for his service. I have two brothers; one was in the Navy in a different capacity, the other the Army who served in both wars in the early 90's. My heart is saddened to know that your heart breaks for the loss of your son, who's also a brother, a husband and a father. May our Great God continue to comfort your family with peace that passes all understanding. And just as you already know he's now resting with our Lord. Aaron was an amazing human being. Thank you for keeping his legacy alive! God's Blessings
veet vivarto
11/01/2012 13:58
The tragedy is that the sacrifice of our soldier heroes, will be lost unless America wakes up.
We still sleeping our universities are being conquered by the anti-freedom, anti-American, "liberal" ideology. The very name "Liberal" is a lie, as this ideology is against liberty. It is a child of the totalitarian ideology of Marxism-Communism. It was first introduced to our universities by the Soviet sympathizers and collaborators. Two generation of "intellectuals" including school teachers an journalists, as well as all sort of government workers were indoctrinated with this poison and have infected the rest of the country. Most young people today, think that America is the main cause of all suffering in the world. They were trained to perceive America as no better than Iran, Egypt, or N. Korea. We need to educate a new generation of Americans who understand for what our heroes are giving their lives. We need to defeat he political correctness, the multiculturalism, and cultural relativism. We also need to speak truth about Islam -- the vilest, bloodiest and most perverted ideology in human history. Anything less than that, will only lead to more and more defeats. Our current approach is like fighting a war against "radical Nazis" while trying to appease the "good, moderate Nazis".
Angie
11/02/2012 07:55
I just finished reading Marcus Luttrell's SERVICE and in it he mentions Aaron and well, you know the rest. I feel blessed to have found this website. I guess I'm taking it as a personal responsibility to try to *thank* all of our HEROs for their service and ultimately their sacrifice.
I cannot imagine the USA without all of the amazing servicemen and women who have gave ALL for our country. As a mother of two sons, I cannot imagine in my heart or in my mind, the utter catastophic emptiness, heartbreak and horror of losing one of my sons in any way, shape or form; let alone in the way you and Billy have lost Aaron. You are courageous, you are strong and we've got your back. Those of us who are strong military supporters wont let Aaron or his fellow WARRIORS be forgotten. I wholely feel those limp wristed pencil pushers in DC making up the "rules" should be required to do a tour over in a hostile nation to see what our HEROs and WARRIORs go through day in and day out ; BEFORE they apply any rules . May God continue to bless you, to give you His wisdom, His knowledge and guide you on your mission. May He answer your prayers and fill you up to overflowing with the Holy Spirit. Blessings to all who know and love Aaron. Thank you for rasing such an outstanding man and I thank him for his service and sacrifice. I know it was at great cost.
vivarto
11/02/2012 15:39
We need to find the solution to what is happening.
Something must be done to wake up our nation. I am in contact with a lot of young people and most of them seem to think that military is an unnecessary institution. They think that we should just get rid of the military, and there will be peace on Earth. Many, probably most of these young people don't realize that the great personal freedom they enjoy is protected by our brave warriors. I feel passionately about the need for new education. Without that, we needlessly lose the best among us.
Robert Kramer
12/28/2012 12:11
I'm almost unable to type this because of how truly sad your situation (America's situation) is. I pray that God will sustain you and comfort you. I have only recently become aware of the travesty of how our soldiers are sent to war with both hands 'tied behind their backs.' I will begin by contacting my district congressman and senators, asking them to do all they can 'right the ship' as far as military policy goes. Two of these three are honorable, and will not turn a deaf ear to this plight. I will echo your story to as many as I can - including the mantra "Let them fight, or bring them home." I wish I could do more.
Our country is, unfortunately, changed so much from the greatness it has done and is still capable of. God, help us all to be faithful to you, and strengthen us to be faithful to our warriors and their families, and grant comfort to Aaron's family and all families like his. God be with you. Leave a Reply |
Monday, January 16, 2012
Patriotism ~ by Tracy Bowen
A friend posted this on FB tonight and I feel extremely compelled to share it:
Patriotism
by Tracy Hobelman Bowen on Monday, January 16, 2012 at 12:34pm
I have seen some swipes taken at our military and their families recently. I can’t get involved in every political discussion that pops up on FB or I would be posting constantly…and for some reason my boys feel that they have to eat and wear clean clothes every day. They are even audacious enough to think that I am the person who should provide these services.
Besides, people have the right to express their opinions. In that spirit I am going to do a little talking of my own.
Isn’t free speech grand?
Red, white, and blue runs through my veins. I am a born and bred small town girl from the mountains of South Carolina, and I don’t mean to suggest that Southerners are the only citizens who are truly patriotic, but we do have our own unique version of love of the motherland.
We are in your face about it. From the way we talk about our country in everyday conversation to the way that we have no problem, quickly and no-holes-barred, confronting anyone who would dare demean it. From the large American flags that fly proudly in the back of our pick-up trucks to the full scale celebrations of our national holidays. In the South the Fourth of July is as big as Christmas. Shoot, it might be bigger. The carnival doesn’t come to town at Christmas.
All the men in my family have been in the military. My Grandpa Hobelman fought in World War II and my brother, Greg, has had the pleasure of an all expense paid trip to Afghanistan…twice. I have seen an up-close and personal view of a hut on Bagram Air Base courtesy of Skype. I have anxiously followed news reports from the Middle East. I have felt the nerves kick in when word came of a casualty, and I have had relieved conversations with my mom when we found out that my brother was okay.
The Stars and Stripes fly boldly in front of my house. I have a yellow ribbon on my mailbox.
With my proud Southern roots, my family’s service record, and my outward show of loyalty I thought I knew what patriotism really was.
Until this past summer.
In August, 2011 I sat in the memorial service for Navy Seal Aaron Carson Vaughn, the very first military funeral I have ever attended, and I thought, “So this is what sacrifice really looks like.”
Somehow, in spite of my brothers involvement, I had been able to keep some form of emotional distance from the war. In many ways it felt so far removed from my everyday reality. Afghanistan is a long way from the football games, school work, doctor’s appointments, grocery stores, and endless piles of laundry that consume my world as a wife and a mother to four boys.
That distance began to be bridged as I sat in Aaron’s service and listened to his family and friends tell the story of a truly extraordinary man. The war had come home.
In a casket.
My heart bled in the beautifully awful moment when his mother was presented with a Gold Star. So much pain. So much pride.
Something began to shift inside of me that day.
It is still shifting.
Suddenly, I had to know everything I could about the American soldier. Not the surface stuff…the nitty-gritty. What makes a person willing to lay their life on the line? What kind of training do they go through? What is it really like to go to war? To stare death in the face? To lose your best friend on the battlefield?
If they had to endure these experiences it seemed that the very least that I could do was learn everything that I could about them. My book list became about all things military. Want to know anything about the training of a Special Ops warrior? Read pretty much anything by Dick Couch. I was completely mesmerized by everything that these men do to prepare themselves to fight the enemy.
And then I read “Lone Survivor” by Marcus Luttrell. The book gutted me. Completely gutted me. Through the words of Mr. Luttrell, and the death of Aaron, the war was given a face and emotions. It no longer felt far away. It felt personal.
Because there is nothing more personal than someone’s life blood being shed. For a fellow soldier. For the God-given right to live free. For the just cause of eradicating terrorism. For me.
I have come to realize that I did not have a clue about the true meaning of patriotism. But I am catching on.
It looks like Billy and Karen Vaughn. Salt-of-the-earth, genuine people who raised an incredible young man and shared him with their country in his life, and continue to share him with us in his death. Their faith is deep and calls us all to the realization that God is trustworthy even when life deals you the most difficult of blows.
It looks like Kimberly Vaughn, who is channeling her grief to urge us all to a deeper love of God and country. And to ensure that the memory of Aaron as a “warrior for Christ” is kept alive for their children.
I can’t take away all of the rhetoric that is being thrown around. I can’t take away the hurt that our men and women in the Armed Forces, and their families, feel when they hear the verbal assaults against them.
To anyone who has ever laced up a pair of combat boots. To anyone who has ever left family and friends behind for a higher calling. To anyone who has tucked children in at night and then went to bed to cry alone because the pain of missing a spouse was so deep that it ripped at their very soul. To anyone who has cried out to God for the safety of a child on the battlefield. To anyone who has ever received "that call"...and heard the words that spun their world out of control. To anyone who has ever pounded a Trident into the unforgiving wood of a coffin.To anyone who has ever given one last salute to a fallen comrade.
Thank you.
Words are inadequate in the face of such noble actions, but sometimes they still need to be said.
Besides, people have the right to express their opinions. In that spirit I am going to do a little talking of my own.
Isn’t free speech grand?
Red, white, and blue runs through my veins. I am a born and bred small town girl from the mountains of South Carolina, and I don’t mean to suggest that Southerners are the only citizens who are truly patriotic, but we do have our own unique version of love of the motherland.
We are in your face about it. From the way we talk about our country in everyday conversation to the way that we have no problem, quickly and no-holes-barred, confronting anyone who would dare demean it. From the large American flags that fly proudly in the back of our pick-up trucks to the full scale celebrations of our national holidays. In the South the Fourth of July is as big as Christmas. Shoot, it might be bigger. The carnival doesn’t come to town at Christmas.
All the men in my family have been in the military. My Grandpa Hobelman fought in World War II and my brother, Greg, has had the pleasure of an all expense paid trip to Afghanistan…twice. I have seen an up-close and personal view of a hut on Bagram Air Base courtesy of Skype. I have anxiously followed news reports from the Middle East. I have felt the nerves kick in when word came of a casualty, and I have had relieved conversations with my mom when we found out that my brother was okay.
The Stars and Stripes fly boldly in front of my house. I have a yellow ribbon on my mailbox.
With my proud Southern roots, my family’s service record, and my outward show of loyalty I thought I knew what patriotism really was.
Until this past summer.
In August, 2011 I sat in the memorial service for Navy Seal Aaron Carson Vaughn, the very first military funeral I have ever attended, and I thought, “So this is what sacrifice really looks like.”
Somehow, in spite of my brothers involvement, I had been able to keep some form of emotional distance from the war. In many ways it felt so far removed from my everyday reality. Afghanistan is a long way from the football games, school work, doctor’s appointments, grocery stores, and endless piles of laundry that consume my world as a wife and a mother to four boys.
That distance began to be bridged as I sat in Aaron’s service and listened to his family and friends tell the story of a truly extraordinary man. The war had come home.
In a casket.
My heart bled in the beautifully awful moment when his mother was presented with a Gold Star. So much pain. So much pride.
Something began to shift inside of me that day.
It is still shifting.
Suddenly, I had to know everything I could about the American soldier. Not the surface stuff…the nitty-gritty. What makes a person willing to lay their life on the line? What kind of training do they go through? What is it really like to go to war? To stare death in the face? To lose your best friend on the battlefield?
If they had to endure these experiences it seemed that the very least that I could do was learn everything that I could about them. My book list became about all things military. Want to know anything about the training of a Special Ops warrior? Read pretty much anything by Dick Couch. I was completely mesmerized by everything that these men do to prepare themselves to fight the enemy.
And then I read “Lone Survivor” by Marcus Luttrell. The book gutted me. Completely gutted me. Through the words of Mr. Luttrell, and the death of Aaron, the war was given a face and emotions. It no longer felt far away. It felt personal.
Because there is nothing more personal than someone’s life blood being shed. For a fellow soldier. For the God-given right to live free. For the just cause of eradicating terrorism. For me.
I have come to realize that I did not have a clue about the true meaning of patriotism. But I am catching on.
It looks like Billy and Karen Vaughn. Salt-of-the-earth, genuine people who raised an incredible young man and shared him with their country in his life, and continue to share him with us in his death. Their faith is deep and calls us all to the realization that God is trustworthy even when life deals you the most difficult of blows.
It looks like Kimberly Vaughn, who is channeling her grief to urge us all to a deeper love of God and country. And to ensure that the memory of Aaron as a “warrior for Christ” is kept alive for their children.
I can’t take away all of the rhetoric that is being thrown around. I can’t take away the hurt that our men and women in the Armed Forces, and their families, feel when they hear the verbal assaults against them.
To anyone who has ever laced up a pair of combat boots. To anyone who has ever left family and friends behind for a higher calling. To anyone who has tucked children in at night and then went to bed to cry alone because the pain of missing a spouse was so deep that it ripped at their very soul. To anyone who has cried out to God for the safety of a child on the battlefield. To anyone who has ever received "that call"...and heard the words that spun their world out of control. To anyone who has ever pounded a Trident into the unforgiving wood of a coffin.To anyone who has ever given one last salute to a fallen comrade.
Thank you.
Words are inadequate in the face of such noble actions, but sometimes they still need to be said.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
By Faith
Beth Moore says that an unchallenged faith is a stifled faith. Believing that to be true, I'd have to say that this family's faith has been anything BUT stifled in this past year.
Five months ago today, Aaron left this earth. 5:09 pm marked the moment he drew his last breath. I believe, by faith, that before that chopper crashed to the ground, Aaron's eyes saw the Lord, high and lifted up, His train filling the temple! I believe, by faith, as God reached down, scooped him up & cradled him in His arms, He whispered those words Aaron had waited 30 years to hear; "Well done my good and faithful servant; you have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith!" If we could have been privileged enough to have just a tiny glimpse of that glorious event, surely we would never have shed a tear for our loss..... only rejoiced in heaven's gain - in Aaron's gain. Aaron had arrived... by faith! I know the angels celebrated. But I also know that as we, his "left behind," have begun the process of accepting the unbearable truth that Aaron will never have a presence in our life here on earth again; we have been called to the challenge of "faith" like never before.
Heb. 11:1 - "Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
By faith... Noah built the ark even though rain had never fallen from the sky before.
By faith... Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, heading to a "promised land" they had never seen.
By faith... Abraham offered Isaac, his only son, as a sacrifice, even though God had promised to make his offspring as numerous as the stars in the sky. How could this make any sense, except...by faith?
By faith... the mouths of lions were shut, the flames were quenched, the dead were raised, the sick were healed, and the lost are saved......
______________________
Faith says that even though I've been stricken with a loss greater than I can bear, You, Lord God, are working all things together for my good!
Faith says that in my weakness, You, The Almighty One, take Your glorious role as My Strength!
Faith believes, even in the throws of sorrow and fear, that God's perfect plan IS being orchestrated!
Faith refuses to be offended by God should He cut a path for us that we prayed we'd never have to walk!
Faith creates hope, and without it, we are "hopeless"...... God forbid.
And last.... Faith testifies that one day we WILL be reunited with all those that have gone before us and only then will our faith become sight. God haste the day!
Until then? We will live and we will walk... by faith.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Sometimes you've just gotta laugh!
Laughter..... it made me fall in love with Billy Vaughn, who I endearingly refer to as "The Great One" . I've always thought he was such a funny man. And since I LOVE to laugh and he loves making me laugh . . . . we make a perfect pair. When our family sits down for a birthday dinner or a Thanksgiving meal or any other get-together the ONE ingredient that has ALWAYS been on our table is laughter. Even as my father was lying on his death bed in August of 2001, Billy was playing a prank on one of my mom's friends that has gone down in Vaughn/Rodenberger history as one of the most hilarious moments of our life. Aaron was there. And he laughed.....hard!
So it just stood to reason that when our lives were completely turned upside down three months ago, we all searched in vain for that "binding glue" that's pulled us through so many tough moments. Thanks to Billy, we found it! I feel like the video I'm sharing today needs just a little bit of a set-up so you'll get the whole picture. Now don't get me wrong! What I'm about to tell you ISN'T funny!
On Saturday, August 6th, 2011 we received the worst news parents could EVER receive; that phone call you spend years on your knees begging God to protect you from..... "Aaron was on the helicopter and there were no survivors". We spun into "out of body experiences" for days on end, not having the capacity, as humans, to grasp the truth and finality of what had been spoken. Aaron is gone. Aaron is gone? Yes, Aaron is gone. I still can't fully wrap my mind around those three little words. We began moving from one memorial to another to another and another. We literally didn't spend more than 5 nights in our own beds in the first three weeks after his departure. Those weeks culminated in the following:
Friday, Aug. 26th, 2011 was the day we laid Aaron's "earthly tent" to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. As we were entering the cemetery we received word that Billy's beloved cousin, Carson, had passed away at the very young age of 46. Before we even reached our son's casket, we were trying to figure out how we would get to Tennessee for Carson's funeral. As if that weren't enough...... a hurricane was bearing down on Virginia Beach and believe it or not, we were being rushed onto a bus immediately following our time at Aaron's grave, so our plane could get us BACK TO Virginia Beach before the outer bands of the storm hit!
Being brave Floridians who laugh in the face of Category 2 Hurricanes, we hopped on the bus, climbed into the plane, landed safely and were shuttled to our OCEAN FRONT hotel where our rooms were located on the SIXTH floor! Oh.... our previously scheduled flights home to Florida the next morning had, of course, been cancelled and we would have the privilege of riding the storm out in front-row seats! The next morning as the outer bands began to wreak a little havoc on the area, we ventured out for some breakfast and supplies (we knew just what to buy)! As the day progressed, the storm did indeed make landfall ON Virginia Beach but somehow we never lost power OR television. And because of that, Billy became inspired to film the attached video.
See, the Weather Channel had their "guy" stationed just outside our hotel. And even though he was INSISTING that the conditions were horrific and terribly dangerous.... every resident (and Florida vacationer) was scoffing at his attempts to shame people into staying inside. Thus..... the inception of the video. I know Aaron was rolling in laughter if God was kind enough to give him a glimpse of what was happening below. And, if I know my God, I believe He was getting a little chuckle out of it as well.
I thank God for "The Great One" and his evelasting ability to give us all a good giggle or a big belly laugh, even/especially when it seems the darkness would overtake us .............................
Stometimes you've just gotta laugh!
So it just stood to reason that when our lives were completely turned upside down three months ago, we all searched in vain for that "binding glue" that's pulled us through so many tough moments. Thanks to Billy, we found it! I feel like the video I'm sharing today needs just a little bit of a set-up so you'll get the whole picture. Now don't get me wrong! What I'm about to tell you ISN'T funny!
On Saturday, August 6th, 2011 we received the worst news parents could EVER receive; that phone call you spend years on your knees begging God to protect you from..... "Aaron was on the helicopter and there were no survivors". We spun into "out of body experiences" for days on end, not having the capacity, as humans, to grasp the truth and finality of what had been spoken. Aaron is gone. Aaron is gone? Yes, Aaron is gone. I still can't fully wrap my mind around those three little words. We began moving from one memorial to another to another and another. We literally didn't spend more than 5 nights in our own beds in the first three weeks after his departure. Those weeks culminated in the following:
Friday, Aug. 26th, 2011 was the day we laid Aaron's "earthly tent" to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. As we were entering the cemetery we received word that Billy's beloved cousin, Carson, had passed away at the very young age of 46. Before we even reached our son's casket, we were trying to figure out how we would get to Tennessee for Carson's funeral. As if that weren't enough...... a hurricane was bearing down on Virginia Beach and believe it or not, we were being rushed onto a bus immediately following our time at Aaron's grave, so our plane could get us BACK TO Virginia Beach before the outer bands of the storm hit!
Being brave Floridians who laugh in the face of Category 2 Hurricanes, we hopped on the bus, climbed into the plane, landed safely and were shuttled to our OCEAN FRONT hotel where our rooms were located on the SIXTH floor! Oh.... our previously scheduled flights home to Florida the next morning had, of course, been cancelled and we would have the privilege of riding the storm out in front-row seats! The next morning as the outer bands began to wreak a little havoc on the area, we ventured out for some breakfast and supplies (we knew just what to buy)! As the day progressed, the storm did indeed make landfall ON Virginia Beach but somehow we never lost power OR television. And because of that, Billy became inspired to film the attached video.
See, the Weather Channel had their "guy" stationed just outside our hotel. And even though he was INSISTING that the conditions were horrific and terribly dangerous.... every resident (and Florida vacationer) was scoffing at his attempts to shame people into staying inside. Thus..... the inception of the video. I know Aaron was rolling in laughter if God was kind enough to give him a glimpse of what was happening below. And, if I know my God, I believe He was getting a little chuckle out of it as well.
I thank God for "The Great One" and his evelasting ability to give us all a good giggle or a big belly laugh, even/especially when it seems the darkness would overtake us .............................
Stometimes you've just gotta laugh!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
What's in a Date?
June 24th fell on a Monday in 2002. The day began like any other - everyone woke, had their coffee, and went about their way. Life at a glance looked like this; My father had passed away in August of the previous year, Tara (our oldest daughter- two years Aaron's junior) had left for college a few weeks after dad's passing, and was home from school for her first summer break, Ana (our youngest daughter) was enjoying her post-third grade summer like any other nine year old, and Aaron, having recently completed his AS degree in Golf Course Management, was gainfully employed at one of America's most prestigious courses and was headed toward a very lucrative career. Life was good and even through the pain of dad's passing.... we felt blessed.
But another date had fallen like a giant anvil in the midst of our seemingly normal life....September 11th, 2001! I, like you knew instantly that THAT date, that "sucker punch", would change the course of our nation's history. What I had no way of knowing at the time, was that it would change the course of our personal history as well. Unbeknownst to us, this date would give June 24th, 2002 national signifigance some nine years later.
See, June 24th, 2002, was Aaron's 21st birthday, and everyone who's heard our story knows by now that it was on that date the he made a pitstop on his way home from work; the Navy Recruiting Center in Stuart, FL. Did he stop to pick up some pamphlets, or gain understanding on a possible new career path? NO! He JOINED the SEAL Challenge Program! Imagine our shock at the dinner table that night when he unveiled the events of the afternoon. It still makes me smile to "hear" his father say, "Son, you DO realize that if you don't make it as a SEAL, you'll still be in the Navy, right?" Aaron's response, "Oh, I'll make it. I'm not going to live on a boat!" And make it he did!!! Through our obvious worry and concern, we celebrated that night! We celebrated the fact that OUR SON was going to make a difference in this world; that his dreams were as huge as his heart; and that his passion for our great nation, a passion we'd instilled in him since birth, was sincere. Our son was a sheepdog, and we were proud.
If we had known that 6/24/02 would lead to 8/6/11, would we have stopped and screamed and demanded a do-over? I'm thankful we don't have that power.
Dates have taken on a new meaning to this family. August 6th, 2011, now marks the death of our hero, a life cut short, the loss of greatness, but also and most importantly... Aaron's glorious entrance into his eternal home, his face-to-face reunion with our creator God, Jehovah, The Holy One. I bet his mansion is full of really cool gear!
We miss you son, and one day... Our "date" will come. See you then.
But another date had fallen like a giant anvil in the midst of our seemingly normal life....September 11th, 2001! I, like you knew instantly that THAT date, that "sucker punch", would change the course of our nation's history. What I had no way of knowing at the time, was that it would change the course of our personal history as well. Unbeknownst to us, this date would give June 24th, 2002 national signifigance some nine years later.
See, June 24th, 2002, was Aaron's 21st birthday, and everyone who's heard our story knows by now that it was on that date the he made a pitstop on his way home from work; the Navy Recruiting Center in Stuart, FL. Did he stop to pick up some pamphlets, or gain understanding on a possible new career path? NO! He JOINED the SEAL Challenge Program! Imagine our shock at the dinner table that night when he unveiled the events of the afternoon. It still makes me smile to "hear" his father say, "Son, you DO realize that if you don't make it as a SEAL, you'll still be in the Navy, right?" Aaron's response, "Oh, I'll make it. I'm not going to live on a boat!" And make it he did!!! Through our obvious worry and concern, we celebrated that night! We celebrated the fact that OUR SON was going to make a difference in this world; that his dreams were as huge as his heart; and that his passion for our great nation, a passion we'd instilled in him since birth, was sincere. Our son was a sheepdog, and we were proud.
If we had known that 6/24/02 would lead to 8/6/11, would we have stopped and screamed and demanded a do-over? I'm thankful we don't have that power.
Dates have taken on a new meaning to this family. August 6th, 2011, now marks the death of our hero, a life cut short, the loss of greatness, but also and most importantly... Aaron's glorious entrance into his eternal home, his face-to-face reunion with our creator God, Jehovah, The Holy One. I bet his mansion is full of really cool gear!
We miss you son, and one day... Our "date" will come. See you then.
Monday, October 31, 2011
What's in a title?
U.S. Navy SEAL, Elite Warrior, Special Warfare Operator, Chief Petty Officer..... just a few of the titles appropriately associated with the name of my first-born and only son, Aaron Carson Vaughn. All of these titles have brought our family incredible pride over the past twelve weeks while his name has been plastered on front pages of newspapers, run across tickers on the bottom of television news networks, spoken from the mouths of thousands of reporters and hand-crafted into tender flyers which advertise another event at which his memory will be honored. But when I think of Aaron, the titles which flood my mind are Father, Husband, Son, Brother, Grandson, Uncle, Cousin, Nephew and Friend.
This blog will be a place of hope; a place to share memories, laughter, and tears while celebrating this amazing man God gave me the privilege of raising and loving for 30 incredible years! I am embarking on finding the proper way to honor Aaron and also create a legacy by sharing the things I know he'd tell you if he were still here. I feel no need to rehearse how he left this world since you can read that story for yourself in literally millions of articles (just google his name).
Aaron left his mark on this world! He lived 90 years in 30! We will never regret one moment of our lives with him. He was a blessing from birth and continued to bring his father and I nothing but honor & joy for the remainder of his time here on earth. Aaron most definitely lived large - he took no moments for granted. I pray I'll carry a portion of his boldness as I move forward with his story / our story.
My title? Mom.
This blog will be a place of hope; a place to share memories, laughter, and tears while celebrating this amazing man God gave me the privilege of raising and loving for 30 incredible years! I am embarking on finding the proper way to honor Aaron and also create a legacy by sharing the things I know he'd tell you if he were still here. I feel no need to rehearse how he left this world since you can read that story for yourself in literally millions of articles (just google his name).
Aaron left his mark on this world! He lived 90 years in 30! We will never regret one moment of our lives with him. He was a blessing from birth and continued to bring his father and I nothing but honor & joy for the remainder of his time here on earth. Aaron most definitely lived large - he took no moments for granted. I pray I'll carry a portion of his boldness as I move forward with his story / our story.
My title? Mom.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)